In this multi-part series <<Your quest titled ‘Major Depression’ has just begun>>, I will delve into the details of my personal story of getting Major Depression and ultimately curing myself without medication or professional help. I will also highlight my revelations at different points in my journey.
My recovery from Major Depression was accelerated and fast-tracked as a result of working on the work project that was just PERFECT for me. After that gift from the universe, I went on to another project that was quite a bit more mundane. Well, to be exact, half of it was quite exciting but the other half was utterly mind-numbing.
I managed to complete my role as scheduled without any issues, even powering through the mind-numbing elements. The Troubles (with a capital T) all started again when the project manager wanted to bring me back onto the project for an extension to do purely soul-destroying work.
It was the exact type of work that had gotten me into depression in the first place. I was very hesitant but he didn’t give me much of a choice so I went along with it, thinking that I’d at least give it a go.
In the morning of the very first day of the extension, I started getting panic attacks as I was sitting in the bus on my way to the client’s office (the same office that I had no trouble travelling to daily over the previous 2 months). The anxiety attacks got progressively worse the closer I got to the client’s office and by the time I arrived I was a train wreck.
After clearing the security barriers I just couldn’t go to the workspace area so instead I went to the cafeteria to sit down and calm my nerves. That clearly did not work. The symptoms were certainly not getting better, if anything they were getting worse. I recognised those symptoms as warning signals of an imminent relapse into depression.
Gathering together my remaining shreds of willpower, I made the decision on the spot to prioritise my health over everything else. To hell with any consequences to my performance appraisal or career at that firm. After all, I never intended to be an employee for very long anyway, entrepreneurship has always been my true calling.
Having pulled myself together, I called the project manager and explained the situation to him with all honesty. He was quite concerned (he’s a decent bloke after all) and asked me to head back to our firm’s own office where he was based for the day to sit down and chat about it. He bought me a cup of tea and we talked it through.
At the end of the discussion, we agreed that I would not have to do that extension. After that conversation, all the symptoms that I had experienced earlier just vanished, like boiling water disappearing into the atmosphere. Such an odd sensation.
This experience of preventing a relapse made me reflect on my experiences of getting depression followed by my recovery from it. The conclusions that I derived from my contemplations were:
- Everyone is born with particular likes & dislikes (i.e. personality) plus particular strengths, weaknesses, & talents
- When there is a mismatch between who the person is and their activities/environment, there is internal friction which the person will experience as unhappiness. The source of this unhappiness will often be difficult to pinpoint
- When this friction builds up past a breaking point, the person will experience a breakdown in their ability to function in daily life i.e. Major Depression
- After the first experience of Major Depression followed by recovery, it is much easier to relapse compared to the original incidence. However, the relapse is easily preventable with some self-awareness and care for yourself
Despite the social stigma surrounding depression (it is much worse in my home country in Asia than it is in the West), I openly talk about my experiences of suffering from Major Depression, and of subsequently curing myself, with people that I meet. Due to my candidness, many have opened up to me and shared their own experiences with depression.
Some have made it through recovery (but they can’t figure out how exactly they did it) while others are still struggling. In each case, their situation matches the theoretical framework that I have derived from my reflections. Their struggles are my inspiration for sharing my insights with everyone affected by Major Depression.
A year and a half after my complete recovery from Major Depression, I left employment behind and have since achieved (and maintained) the highest state of happiness in my life.
Congratulations, your quest titled ‘Major Depression’ has been completed. The end.
List of chapters in this series:
Chapter 0: Narrator’s opening speech
Chapter 1: Getting lost in a dark forest
Chapter 2: The paths in the forest go round and round, round and round, round and round
Chapter 3: Moonlight reflecting off a still pond within the dark forest
Chapter 4: Forward MARCH! into the unknown
Chapter 5: Stumbling upon the shortcut out of the dark forest
